Zoe L,
Belden
Honors English I
8 October 2014
Run
"Hey, Winter!" I heard a voice call over to me, slightly softened by the cool wind.
I looked back. At first, all I could see were light blue eyes piercing through the morning fog, then I saw that the image clearing around the seemingly floating eyes was a face, a familiar face.
"Hi," I said awkwardly, not being able to remember her name. I hoped that my faked smile looked real.
We both stood there, about ten feet away from each other. After a lifetime of waiting, the girl finally broke the silence.
"It's Amber," She said, kind of happily.
It came back to me. It was Amber. I began shaking, my body flashed cold.
My mind went blank with panic. I wanted to run, but I couldn't move. I thought back to when I was 13; when everything happened.
I remember my mom screaming for me from the kitchen window, telling me to come inside. I didn't listen - I never listened.
A man came up to me and ordered me into his car. I followed obediently, knowing that it would end up alright. He said that he was in the military or the secret service or something similar that sounded extremely important and provided a badge to each member. It was important. It's true I didn't go home after that, but I wasn't kidnapped, I wasn't help against my
will. I wanted to be there with so many other people, everyone understood me. They all told me that I was effortlessly talented; gifted, unique. They assured me that I was needed.
At first, I thought they were kidding. They told me I had great potential towards being spy and that they had been watching me from afar. That part was admittedly creepy, and I knew it.
After a long three years of vigourous training, I became a spy. I followed the orders that were given to me. Until my sister came into the program, that is. I didn't want her under the control of these people - they were harsh, she was weak. I found out after not too long that she was working with our main enemy. She had once told me that I had three choices - I could join her side and follow the team that would win this war, stay where I was and go down in flames, or exit the program completely. The flame in her eyes and outline of muscle in her arm made me realize that she was no longer my younger sister. She was no longer weak and helpless. She was no longer an ally.
At first, I was determined to stay. When the offer was made, I demanded that that was what I would do. The people around me told me that I was needed, and I had to believe that. But the place was falling apart.
People were accused of being traitors - I eventually became one of those people. The people I worked for convinced themselves that I was the enemy. I soon realized that by attempting to stay in this organization, I was putting my life in danger. I ran away during the night, when even the war was postponed until morning.
As I ran, I had only one complication whilst attempting to escape from the war zone; my closest enemy, my little sister.. She had been stationed to watch the area of the woods around our campsite, and as I tried to get away, bullets flew towards me. Laughter rang
throughout the trees as my sister triumphantly skimmed my shoulder with a throwing knife. Despite these obstacles and the harsh realization that my baby sister was now a complete maniac and trying to murder me, I did not cease my efforts.
I continued to run without looking back until I found a small town that would be suitable to live in. I stayed there for a few years and nobody found me. Until now.
I snapped back to present time and looked at the figure again. I whispered the only thing I could think of.
"You're my sister,"
She stood there, nodding. I gathered all of the strength I could muster in my legs and ran. I ran to a new town across the country. Amber didn't follow me, to my knowledge, she didn't even try. I never found out whether or not it was a coincidence that Amber was there, in the town that had been my safe haven for so many years. Probably not. The important thing was that I was far away from my maniacal sister.
To this day I am still safe in this new town, for now.
Hi Zoe!
ReplyDeleteIt's Byron here. I just read your story, and I love it! The plot was so well developed, and the flashback was easily my favorite part. The whole idea is really original and interesting! Why did you choose Winter's sister to be the one to betray her? Why such a personal character? I do think Winter could use some physical description, other than that your story is perfect!
Sincerely,
Byron
Hi Zoe!
ReplyDeleteIt's Byron here. I just read your story, and I love it! The plot was so well developed, and the flashback was easily my favorite part. The whole idea is really original and interesting! Why did you choose Winter's sister to be the one to betray her? Why such a personal character? I do think Winter could use some physical description, other than that your story is perfect!
Sincerely,
Byron
Hey Zoe:)
ReplyDeleteI hope you're having a good weekend! Reading your short story was very enjoyable for me because of your super well thought-out line of events happening throughout the story. My favorite part of the story was probably the beginning when she made awkward contact with Amber because it is so relatable to high schoolers now a days, however; Im a tiny bit confused on who Amber is. I have an idea that it is her sister, but I'm still not quite sure. Another thing I loved was that they were spies. I guarantee no one else in ninth grade wrote a story about spies. How creative! Finally, I would add a little bit more description to Winter. She seems like a wonderful character, but I would add to her a bit more to make her even better. Than you for allowing me to read your blog. I'm blown away by how good your story is.
-Claire C.
Hey Zoe, I really enjoyed reading your story! I absolutely loved it. The plot was amazing and really hooked me into reading more. Theres not really much I would have you change besides maybe describing the characters more and checking spelling and punctuation errors. Great job!
ReplyDelete